Ok, so first off I had the idea to start writing this blog post pre-Christmas while watching The Holiday on Netflix. Not important to this post at all, but seriously HOW LONG IS THAT FILM? It’s never ending. So never ending in fact that I stopped watching with half an hour to go (I still watched a whopping 1hr 45mins of it) and started writing this.
Anyway, back to business.
New year, new you riiiight?
Actually, I’m pretty stoked with the me that’s right here, right now.
The new year is a great time to make plans, to make lists and to think about upping your game. To eat better, to go to the gym, to budget properly and not spend all your money in the Zara sale (on that leopard print dress that just HAD to be bought).
My previous new year resolutions have ranged from giving up mayonnaise (I have a habit of putting it on all food that I consume after 11am), to deciding to eat healthy and go to the gym three times a week the year I turned 25 (didn’t happen).
When thinking about my resolution for this year, I decided to change tack by asking myself what I was happy with and what I wanted to continue doing instead of focusing on what I wanted to change.
Here’s a couple of them -
1) To keep building What Ted Wore as a brand and business. This lil biz of mine was started in July 2018 and it’s been a game changer for me. I’m seriously excited to get to work and to see what the next year brings. I’m thinking new product, new designs and the holy grail that is wholesale.
2) To keep making eco friendly swaps and lifestyle changes. We’ve got a long way to go, but in 2018 we swapped out water bottles and coffee cups for reusable ones, as well as switching to eco friendly household cleaners, soaps, baby wipes and face wipes. There’s a shiz ton more swaps to be made so here’s to learning more and making a small, but important, difference.
3) Spending quality time with Ted.
I know that number three sounds like a no brainer, but after thinking it over there was one thing that kept coming back to me. One part of my life that I could confidently say that I loved and that I didn’t need or want to change at all.
Being a Mum.
Hanging out at the park, going to a coffee shop or soft play with Ted might not sound like the most exciting things ever. It’ll probably sound mundane to some, but for me it’s my favourite place to be because it means hanging out with him. Of course we do other stuff, but the day to day bits; the going to the shops, with him holding my hand, waiting for the green man to flash so we can cross the road. Ordering a babycino for him, knowing full well he’ll probably spill most of it on the floor/his shoes/on me. These little bits of every day life are the some of the moments that I cherish most. Just me and him, hanging out. Doing our own thing.
This is probably the only time I’ve ever given myself full credit and not been ashamed to say it, so I might as well go the whole hog and shout it out loud.
I’m not just a Mum. I’m a good Mum.
And I’m really proud to say it.
This isn’t me wanting to blow my own trumpet or thinking I’m the total shiz at parenting. I’ve had all the high and lows and rollercoaster of emotions that come with raising a little one. I remember when Ted was a tiny newborn, telling him that tomorrow I’d do better. I’d be better at feeding him, I wouldn’t cry (cheers hormones) that I’d make it out of the house. At the time I felt like I was a rubbish Mum, and that I’d never get it right. That I’d never feel confident in raising this little person, that I wouldn’t be enough for him or what he deserved.
It’s very easy to get bogged down with the feeling that you’re not a good enough parent. To concentrate on the negative. To remember the time when you forgot to pack snacks. Or when you didn’t bring a spare pair of clothes and there was a projectile puke situation. Or when you couldn’t make it to Rhyme Time because you were too hungover from drinking pink wine the previous night.
I read somewhere that babies and toddlers see their parents and carers as their whole universe.
If you can imagine that (it actually makes me feel quite tearful), their whole universe is pretty much all you. You’re all that they love, all that they know. You make them feel safe. You give the best cuddles. You can make them laugh like no one else.
So this year, I’m not making any resolutions. Sure, I’ll be trying to drink more water. I’ll probably attempt a budget spreadsheet (only coz I spent all my money in December). I’ll try and limit my mayonnaise intake. But what I’m really raising my glass to this year, is me.
For working through the tough, tantrum times and that month long phase of Ted not wanting to wear a coat (seriously, why? And don’t get me started on mittens). For saying ‘See Ya’ to anxiety and our (much loved by me) routine and heading to Bestival for our first festival and camping trip together.
To those dreamy, summer days in the park and for keeping Ted’s melon head covered with a hat (a serious achievement). The endless car pukes and car seat cleaning (worst job ever) and that time when Ted coughed but it actually came out a puke and it pretty much cleared the room (sorry these are all so vomit related, but he’s a mega pukey kid).
2018 was the year I heard ‘Wuv u, Mama’ and I felt like my already full heart couldn’t possibly take any more.
Here’s to more giggles, belly laughs, road trips (but hopefully with less puke) and most of all love (and babycinos).
Watch out 2019, I’m coming for you!